"Eccleston Fucks Shit Up"
 

I'm trying to get a script accepted to the Doctor Who Audio Dramas. I've gone through about 40 already. All were rejected because I can't write for shit.
Link to the DWADs main webpage:http://www.dwad.net/
Here's what I'll be submitting:

I'm at a loss for words. That was pure perfection.

That was horrible and disturbing. So much so it rolled way past the wall of terribleness and became awesome.

No italics? No underlining? No hyperextended words? I'm sorry but it sucks.

What other titles have you written btw?

I am the author of such acclaimed and widely recognised titles as "Dr Who and the Massacre of the Peaceful Alien Dignitaries Who Were Probably Communists Anyway" and "The Daleks Finally Exterminate The Doctor But Because He Sold His Soul To Satan In 1996 To Bring The Show Back Which Didn't Even Work Goddamit It But Anyway Because He Sold His Soul He Comes Back As A Zombie And Begins A Vengeful Spree Of Total Destruction Where He Eats Many Gooey Dalek Brains. Mmm; Sweet Sweet Dalek Brains" for BBC Quick Reads; "Sylvester McCoy Realises He Is Actually A Vampire And Begins To Feel A HUNGER, A Hunger For BLOOD; Leading Him To Drain The Blood Of All His Companions In An Insane Bloodlustful Feeding Frenzy Of Destruction" for Virgin New Adventures; and "Voyage of the Damned".

Hmm, quite good. By widely acclaimed I assume you mean your grandma told you they were good when she tucked you in?

No. Your Grandma told me they were good when she tucked me in.

PS, it's not an attempt at wit but a pisstake of the fact that James P Quick gets tucked in by his Grandma. Have you heard back from DWAD?

ZING.

Captain Obvious called, wanted me to pass on that you don't have to explain the joke.

Yeah, their reply was "You sick, sick fuck. What made you think of this shit? You and every other being in this DIMENSION will PERIIIISHHHH! And that ARMAGGGEEEEDDDDDOOOONNN will be through MEEEEEEEE!!"

I wish he'd stopped by, the legend that he is.

OBVIOUS... PAAWWNCHHH

+1 for this threads' brilliance.

I love those episode titles, but not Voyage of The Damned.

WTF! What are you thinking? I'm giving this thread at least +50, maybe even +70.

Yeah, it's a crap name isn't it? :P

I've never found out where it is these points go.

There's one of those pipes that goes 'woosh' somewhere and Murray picks it out and eats it.

I believed there was a maximum of 1 point per quote.


If any of you are on OG (DWForum) then check out this thread where someone believes that Doc 7 is in one of the paintings in TUATW.

SO many photoshopped pics. Its very funny. . . . but not as great as this thread obviously.

......... I am soooooooooooooo not part of this forum anymore. This is just what is wrong with soceity. You can't be nice so to make up for it you take nastiness to the extreme. Why must this happen to me? Yeah, by the way, I don't get tucked in by my grandmother, that would be dumb. But I bet Ronnie Rowlands and Recurring Villain rape theirs! Sickos. Ugh, I really need to be better on choosing which forums I join because I didn't know this one was so d*mn evil!

Evil is a bit of an extremity. You just need to look past it and then you can have fun here.

Exactly. However, I do suggest you leave... I have nothing against you personally but I think you'd be better off at a more lawful place than this. :P

And just because somebody happens to write awful gorey fiction and we pretend to like it doesn't mean they'd do any crap like that in real life, geeze.