[Recurring Villain]

Originally Posted by Ross Hendrie

I dont even own a crucifx RV

That means you're going to HELL.

But don't worry, I imagine you're versatile. As long as you can shake it in the name of the Lord, you will.

How To Solve Problems: The Religious Way by Recurringus Villainus (last revision was in 4 AD so you can trust it, don't worry.)

Problem: Car wont start.

Solution: Shake the keys at the ignition and pray.

Problem: You are about to get beaten up by a gang of chavs.

Solution: Yell verses from the Bible at them. Doesn't matter if they're relevant.

Problem: You don't have enough money to pay for gas.

Solution: Pray for extra money and wait until enough money has come falling from the sky. May take several centuries (because God is a very busy superbeing. Nothing at all to do with probability.).

Problem: Girlfriend breaks up with you.

Solution: Stone her to death.

Problem: You meet an atheist.

Solution: You do what we do. You run. I've seen an atheist punch through brick walls...

Problem: You've lost all your money betting on the races.

Solution: Good time for a pilgrimage to a third-world country.