I'm trying to get a script accepted to the Doctor Who Audio Dramas. I've gone through about 40 already. All were rejected because I can't write for shit.
Link to the DWADs main webpage:
http://www.dwad.net/
Here's what I'll be submitting:
Doctor Who
Eccleston Fucks Shit Up
By Russell T Davies Summary of Precredits Scene
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Eccleston arrives in a random African village for an indeterminate reason. Seeing the general happiness of the people around him, he pulls an M16 with grenade launcher attatchment from the TARDIS armoury, running over a passing nun in his 4x4. "I'm gonna fuck shit up!" he declares before driving into the village and sending women and old people screaming in terror as pieces of white hot metal rain down toward them, hitting them in various parts of their bodies and causing their flesh to explode outward in a firework display of BLOOD.
Eccleston pins a random child down under the wheel of his 4x4. He gets out and inspects the child, who is trapped but still alive and in agonising pain. "I would put you out of your misery," he tells the child, "but I'm a fucking psycho." Eccleston then shoots the young African orphan in the head over and over. His skull cracked and the flesh exploded outward, covering Eccleston and the surrounding orphans in blood and skull fragments. His head rapidly collapsed in on itself as the childs screams became less and less frequent. "NOW," said Eccleston, "BET YOU WISH YOU STILL HAD AIDS, HUH?!?"
Eccleston then lines the surviving orphans up against a mud hut. Eccleston then fires round after round into the lines of screaming children lined up with their backs against the mud hut.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" says Eccleston.
Suddenly Paul McGann appears from nowhere. "But Eccleston!," said McGann, "these orphans didn't have AIDS! YOU HAVE AIDS!"
Close zoom on Eccleston's surprised face
NYEEEEEEEEEODUMDEDUMDUMDEDUM
Episode One: Putting the Roar Back in ‘HOLY SHIT DUDE I'M GONNA CUT YOU'
Episode Two: I BANGED YOUR WIFE LAST NIGHT
Episode Three: THEN I KILLED HER AND DUMPED HER BODY IN SOME DENSE WOODLAND NEAR YOUR HOME
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Well, cross your fingers. I hope it gets accepted.
~MG