Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I've been on forums on and off since I was James P's age and I never was like him. I learned from the cliques of the forum what was and wasn't acceptable as far as behaviour went and played along, I still have friends from those forums so long ago I still talk to, despite the forums being long since dead.
If he's not prepared to try and fit in, then it's not our place to change to suit him. If he doesn't like it, there's the whole rest of the motherfuckin' internet out there for him to talk about his Grandmother to.
It's rediculous how many times we have to repeat this; check the banner up there, read whose name is part of the URL. Is this JamesP.com? No. Is it ChrisBritton.com? No. So get the fuck over yourself, Chris, or go make your own forum. It's really that simple.