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Not a bad start, but the Murray Gold-inspired melody over the bassline intro is seriously starting to get annoying. So many people are using it (or derivatives based on it) in their themes now. Let the bassline intro stand on its own, people.
Basically my biggest problems are to do with mixing. The bass is a bit too loud and bassy, and the whole thing is a bit too compressed and loud. Quiet everything down a bit and allow individual elements to shine through a bit more. Aside from that, Ben's giving you some pretty good advice.
P.S. Those lines between quotes were annoying as hell. If you need to use them to not get confused, at least have the decency to take them out before hitting Post.
P.P.S. Dropbox doesn't mess up. I blame this on user error.
P.P.P.S. awesome.mp3 is an annoyingly arrogant filename.
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