[Danny Stewart]

Okay, folks, it's time to stir up some controversy. A couple weeks ago, I went to New York on a miniature vacation with my family. While there, I saw the new Star Wars movie on the biggest screen in Manhattan. I'm sure you all are eager to hear what I thought of it, and I'm afraid you all are going to be disappointed. I walked in there hoping, even expecting, to like it. I finally decided to reconcile my problems with Star Wars. Hell, if I liked it, I was fully prepared to get into it, buy all the DVDs, and start learning what I've been missing out on. But I walked away disappointed. The special effects were absolutely dazzling, and they were the best part of the movie. I enjoyed many, but not all, of the special effects sequences. As far as the plot went, it was convoluted and, at points, a bit difficult to follow. And then there's the acting, if it can be called acting. Acting? What acting? The acting in that movie was atrocious. Absolutely atrocious. I can't begin to say how disappointed I was in the level of acting ability throughout the whole movie.

Overall, I was terribly disappointed by the whole movie. And it wasn't that I walked in expecting to hate it. I walked in there, in all honesty, expecting to fall in love with Star Wars. I walked out disliking it more than I can ever remember disliking it. On a five scale, I'd give it a two out of five, and that's being generous. And that brings me to my last issue. Across the country, people -- and by people I mean average, ordinary people (not science fiction fans) -- obsess over seeing Star Wars on opening day, missing out on school or work, and then bragging to their friends about how they saw the first showtime of the day. If I were to walk into school and say "I saw the new Star Wars movie yesterday," the reaction I would get from everyone would be "oh, cool, wasn't that a great movie" or "I haven't seen it yet but I've already got my tickets, I can't wait." But if I walked into school and said "I saw the new Star Trek movie," people would look at me, roll their eyes and say, "oh, yeah, you're a Trekkie, aren't you." That's just disgusting. Star Trek is much higher quality science fiction. So much more effort goes into it as far as acting and writing. And yet Star Wars is the national phenomenon. I guess it just goes to show how the minds of the masses in America today work.

So there you have it, folks. I gave Star Wars a fair chance, and it failed to deliver. And I won't soon be giving it another.