Train Wreck

Gah, i might aswell get as many people as possible to read my story, so, here goes...

Day Dream:

It looked through her like she was invisible. The croaking voice echoed words which chilled her to the bone. But as the creature came towards her, it didn’t walk as, glide. Gently across the floor, almost elegantly. No, these, these, things could not be called elegant. She thought, although many feel differently. Somewhere, deep within herself she could think it to be cute, maybe a little helpless, but still it glided towards her. Then, suddenly, out of this strange dream-like state, she heard her name being called out, by someone far away, in the distance.
“Grace! Grace, oh for god’s sake, we’re just gonna leave you then!” And that’s when she snapped back to reality.

“Huh?” she said wearily as she lifted her head high enough to see that several people were heading her way and didn’t look likely to move.
“You were daydreaming,” said the girl next to her playfully smacking her around the head.
“Look, Maddy, sorry, was weird daydream, dunno what happened!” She pulled a face and wrapped her arms around the girl’s shoulders. “Hey! Where’s Talie?”
“I’m right here, I’ve been here for 10 mintues and you still haven’t noticed me?” Grace removed her hands from Maddy’s shoulders and instead, draped them over Talie’s.
“You know I love you really Talie, I was just daydreaming.”
“Yeah,” laughed Talie unhooking Grace and moving to her side. “You do that a lot!”
“Now, can I get you children to come this way and line up in the queue behind these very lovely people so we can get our tickets,” Maddy said in a pretend teacher voice.

Grace didn’t mind trains, actually she loved them. There was only one problem, it was the tube. After the 7.7 bombings on the tubes, Grace didn’t go anywhere near them unless forced at gun point. There was one difference this time. Her parents were allowing her to go unaccompanied with 2 responsible (-ish) friends to London to go and do a bit of shopping. Again, this wasn’t usually Grace’s thing, but afterwards, they were going to watch a movie, so she decided to tag along. As always, Maddy forgot to get tickets, so they had to stand in a queue for 20 mintues, while she explained how she bought the tickets, and then magically lost them in a terrible accident which neither injured nor killed her or any member of her family. Neither Talie nor Grace believed a word of it, but kept quiet just to make Mad feel that extra bit more special.

Wreck:

“What’s the time?” asked Talie staring at her arm and realising that she didn’t have a watch. Maddy was daydreaming, so Grace nudged her and smiled.
“It’s 10 past,” Grace sighed. There was obviously something wrong. Maddy said it first.
“Grace, are you ok?” Grace quickly smiled falsely and said.
“Ofcourse I am! Oh look, here’s the train!”
“Hmmm,” began Talie. “Are you sure?”
“Yes! Look, stop worrying about me and get on that bloody train before I push you on.”

Grace had gone completely pale. She had tucked her bag under her arms and was now trying the handles into knots and looking around nervously. Both of her friends were worried. They knew she was extremely pessimistic, but they never thought it would have come down to this.
“Look, Grace…” began Maddy, but Grace held up a hand to silence her.
“See,” she said shakily. “I’m fine.” Talie looked worriedly at Maddy who had now put her arm around Grace’s shoulders.
“Look, we know that you don’t like trains, but…” but this time it wasn’t Grace’s hand that silenced Maddy. It was a terrible lurch from the train. Grace gripped onto Maddy’s arm, almost tearing it off as the train tumbled onto its’ side and everything went black.

Grace woke up 15 mintues later. Talie was crouched over her, looking into her eyes. The moment Grace had regained consciousness; she had thrown herself on top of her.
“Oh my god, I thought for a minute… well, you don’t wanna know what I thought. You were right Grace, we should have never come.” Grace looked around the dirty carriage. Many people were still there, moaning and grumbling about pain and the fact that they were apparently going “to die”. Grace suddenly realised what was wrong.
“Where’s Mad?” she asked worriedly as she tried to get up, but found herself too weak to move. Talie moved solemnly to the side and Grace gasped. She slowly crawled over, despite the pain, to Maddy. “Maddy, your leg.” Laying on top of Maddy’s leg was a huge chunk of train. Blood was pouring out of the wound as she tried to move her leg. Tears welled up in Grace’s eyes and she flung herself at Maddy, grabbing onto her shirt for dear life. “What the… I’m so sorry…”

-----------------------------------

I don't mind as many comments, or as little, as long as u say the truth! Btw, this isn't the end of the story, if people like it then i'll put more up!

[Ben Dawson]

Wow, that's so moving. So realistic, it really captures the fear of todays world. PLEASE PLEASE, put more up, it really is quite emotional. You've got talent here, when you said that you could never be as good as me, you're wrong, you don't give yourself enough credit. We are both equal with imagination (as I can clearly see, you have got quite an imagination), it's just you are good with the real world stuff and I'm good with Sci-Fi/Fantasy (if you have any story's in the Sci-Fi/Fantasy genre, please post them.)
I hope to read more soon.

[Danny Stewart]

Yes, very well done, thank you so much for sharing it! I too hope for more, and welcome to the forums.

lol aww you guys are so sweet! ^^ i'm happy now! hehe, i might aswell post more up, i've written yet another story, but i'm not sure whether to put it up, seeing as it has absolutely nothing to do with dr who what so ever, but my mate says it's the best story i've ever written.... u wanna read it?!

gah, well, if you're sure, here's chapter... erm, whatever, i can't remeber which bit/ one i'm on, so, well... whatever! ^^ (but there is a bit of swearing, so... i think i might have to * them out.... gah, i hate to do that to my work! ( think i've * them all... dammit!)

Invasion:

“Where the f*** is the ambulance, the police, the fire brigade, the life guard… I don’t care Talie…” Grace said as Talie went to correct her. She quickly stood up and moodily sulked away. “But seriously, this is the reason I don’t go on the tube. You always get f*****’ nutters trying to bomb every individual train. Bet they were from Leeds aswell… Leeds dammit. I love Leeds; look what the insane suicide bombers did. 7.7. And now, they’ve done it f******* again!”
“Er…Grace,” said Talie.
“No, I’m sorry, I’m not in the f******’ mood…” Grace stood up and paced up and down the only space she could find. “And now, we’re gonna die in here like every other person. Just waiting, no food, no water, no nothing!”
“Grace…” Talie began again.
“Look, I’m not in the mood for a lecture about swearing ok… I’ve had enough… and for another thing…”
“GRACE!” Talie yelled. Grace immediately turned around and said.
“God, no need to shout Talie.” Talie stared daggers at Grace before Maddy interrupted.
“For god’s sake Talie, what?”
“Erm, I think you, Grace, sorry Mad. You need to come and see this.”

Grace and Talie tumbled and fought their way through the crowd of bodies to a window. Staring down the side of the train, they caught a glitter of gold.
“What the hell?” began Grace.
“But that’s not all,” said Talie.
“Ok, miss brainbox, what else?”
“Well… look. There’s no smoke, no real damage, ok, the train HAS been flipped on its side, but there is no evidence of any bombs exploding, anything like that.” Grace looked quizzical.
“Then what the hell is it?” she asked climbing down from the upturned seat and standing up.
“That, I don’t know. But what I do know is, we need to get these people out.” As soon as Talie said that, everyone disappeared.
“Where the hell did everyone go?” asked Grace twisting around to see only Maddy left.
“Er… Grace, about 5 mintues ago, everyone left. But they sealed the doors. We need to find our own way out.” Grace looked worried for a second and then said.
“Yeah, er, sure, we need to go back and wait with Mad.” They slowly made it 2 cabins along, tripping over rock and rubble til they finally got back to Maddy. The blood was now trickling down the carriage, and Talie and Grace had to step out of the way to avoid it.
“Mad, we’re so sorry. We couldn’t find anyone to help… or a way out.” And then she stopped. Grace could hear a strange noise.
“What’s up Grace?” Maddy asked, but Grace had already collapsed. The voices still travelling around in her head. She only caught a brief glimpse of the creature. It was gliding towards her, lights flashing on the top and croaking the only words she would ever hear.
“Exterminate.”

Exterminate:

“Oh my god, what the hell are we going to do?” asked Talie running around wildly. Grace still hadn’t woken up, and was lying on the floor. Maddy was also worried, no one just collapses. Something had to be wrong. She just knew it. With her one remaining leg, she stuck it out and made Talie go flying into the side of the train. She got up, blood trickled down the side of her head.
“Ah, if you leg wasn’t battered then I would break it.”
“Yeah, well that’s the glory of being in a lot of pain!”

Opening one eye, she could see Talie and Maddy with their backs to her. She had to get away from them both, just for a moment. Slowly a quietly she stood up and crept away from them. Opening the door and realising she felt very sick, she lay down in the carriage after that and closed her eyes. The nausea died down and she sat up, listening intently. Great! They didn’t know she’d gone. Feeling a new burst of energy, she got up and ran the full length of the train. The last cabin smelt a little strange. A mixture of dust and… what was the other smell? Grace pondered for a while, until she remembered where she had smelt it before. Back in their cabin. It must have been the blood. Looking around, Grace saw two men lying on the ground, but the strange thing was, there was no blood in sight. It mustn’t have been the smell of blood. It must have been the smell of… fear. Grace felt a light tap on her shoulder, and quickly spun around. She came face to face with the most dreamiest man ever.

[Recurring Villain]

"Most dreamiest man ever." Good english there! (Might want to fix that, eh?)

Nice story though, despite some odd usage of the english language I can truthfully say so far this story's shaping up to be a great wreck.

Interpret that as you will. It's 2am. Shush.

I also like how you (or perhaps I missed it) hid the fact that it had anything to do with Doctor Who and everyone's favorite cyborg mutants and revealed it with one word .

Looks like the Daleks have a train wreck of an invasion going on.

[Ben Dawson]

You mean 2AM where you are, over here it was 5:20PM (GOD, big time difference, hehe).
So is this going to end up as a Doctor Who story (or at least featuring the Daleks),if so, then nice move with the first chapter. no references to Doctor Who and in the first chapter and then BAM, second chapter, here comes the Daleks. This is FANTASTIC.

Fantastic! Woah, really?! (you sound like dr 9!) Yeah, i did try to make it not give much away in the first chapter, obviously apart from the ickle first paragraph, unless you know me (really well!) or are just very good at guessing, fingers crossed, no one noticed that it was a doctor who story! hehe, well i tried...

I know, my english is a little rubbish (i even spelt that wrong and had to re-write it 5 times!) i'm only 13, gimme a break!!! And anyways, i'm just a little stupid! ^^

[Ben Dawson]

yup, I didn't notice. I thought she was only day dreaming, but it's a great twist, fantastic, you could say. Would you like a Jelly Baby as a reward for this brilliant piece of work?

ooh yes please! (lol) thank god, i do day dream a lot! Hehe, that's me if u hadn't have guessed... and Talie and Maddy are like two of my best mates, which... helps. Actually, Maddy read it and said she liked it! ^^

[Ben Dawson]

It's a good idea to base characters on friends or family, it makes it more real.

yeah, i hope, but.... i dunno! I might aswell put up the next piece, i know you want to read it, not sure why though!

Band-Aids:

“Ah. Erm. Hi,” said Grace a little embarrassed. The man’s face was a picture of worry and foolishness. He was standing only a few millimetres away, and Grace could feel him breathing on her face. She laughed childishly and said.” So, how did you get on the train? I thought everyone had got out. Apparently the doors automatically shut before we got out.”
“Ah, yes. We got here…”
“We?” asked Grace inquisitively. The man laughed.
“Oh, how rude of me. This is Rose. I’m the Doctor.” Grace looked at Rose. Blonde and pretty, no wonder he’s chosen her.
“A Doctor eh? Well, my mate, she…”
“Well, where is she?” the Doctor asked suddenly.
“Oh, er… follow me.”

“Oh my god!” yelled Maddy stunned. “Where the hell did Grace go? She was there a moment ago!” She tried to move, but remembered she was wedged in. “Dammit, she keeps on doing that! Running off…dammit,” she whispered. Then Talie realised exactly what she was on about.
“B…but she was out cold. At least for another hour or so. How the hell? What the… God, I’m so confused.” She quickly slumped down again next to Maddy, just to hear the sound of the door behind her sliding open. She leaped up and started to yell at the startled Grace. “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! WE’VE BEEN WORRIED SICK AND WHAT DO YOU DO? GO GALAVANTING OFF! NO, I’M SORRY… DON’T EVEN TRY TO APOLOGISE, UH-UH, IT WON’T WORK!”
“But Talie… I’ve brought someone that can help with Maddy’s leg. He’s a doctor!” The Doctor stepped forward. Talie’s eyes widened.
“H… hi…” she said speechless.
“Hi,” said the doctor cheerfully. He grinned and leant down beside Maddy.” Right, now… hmmm… yeah…. Right.” He said again standing up. “I think it would be better if you are left like that. I know it might hurt, but it’s the best chance of…” Talie had had enough. She grabbed him roughly by the lapels of his coat and brought him close to her face, close enough so that their noses were almost touching.
“Now,” she whispered menacingly. “You’d better listen, cause I’m only saying this once. I dunno how you got on this train, I don’t care. But what I do care about, is my mate. Now you get that chunk of train off her leg and do what ever else you doctors do, and then… find a way out.” The Doctor looked frightened. He slowly stood up to his full height and looked back at Rose. Grace could see the look on his face, and when he turned around, let out a silent laugh. He bent down and reached inside his coat.
“What is he doing?” Grace whispered to Rose.
“It’s his sonic screwdriver. Don’t worry, it’s really complicated, but… well, it’ll blow that piece of junk right off.”
“Are you sure it won’t blow her leg off in the process?” asked Grace worriedly.
“No, he knows what he’s doing.”
“What?! I should trust him ‘cause he’s a doctor?!” she asked sarcastically watching the blue light dancing on the huge piece of metal.
“No… he’s… never mind.”

The Doctor had finally finished, and after one last flick of the sonic screwdriver, the piece of metal exploded, revealing the horror within.
“Dear god!” Grace said shielding her eyes and mouth, as not to be sick. Talie and gone completely pale, and even the Doctor stood well back with a solemn look on his face.
“Yes… I think we might need to bandage that up.”
“Might?!” yelled Talie in a squeaky voice.
“Yeah, you’ve gotta, look, we don’t usually ask much of people, but you’re a doctor for Christ sake!”
“Ok, Ok, I’ll do it… but I don’t have any bandages on me.”
“Look,” said Grace staring down at her favourite Kaiser Chief top. She closed her eyes and ripped the thin material into several shreds. “Just… take it, ok?”
“What the hell? No, Grace you shouldn’t have done that. It was limited edition. You can’t get it anymore.”
“It can be a very short, ripped top. That’s all. Your life is more important than some dumb (omg!) t-shirt.” The Doctor wrapped the “bandages” around Maddy’s leg, and stood up to admire his handy work.
“Yes!” He said triumphantly. “I think that’s done the trick!”



... i don't know how just a shirt can bandage someone's leg up, yeah, i know, it's not very realistic, but this is boredom at work people, i don't care!

[Danny Stewart]

And you're only 13? This is great stuff!

ok danke, yeah, i am... but the thing is, i dunno whether to put my otehr story up. It's nothing to do with dr who, but... gah, apparently it's the best story i've ever written! I really don't know what to do!

[Ben Dawson]

oh, good good. This is getting better and better. One question, is this the 9th or 10th Doctor. I take it that it's the 10th Doctor as you kinda fancie him.

[Danny Stewart]

Non Doctor Who fiction is just as welcome here! Just post it right here, in the same forum.

ah excellent, yeah, tis the 10th doctor, he's is so cute! ^^ ok, i'll put my otehr story up for u guys! Hehe, i hope u like this one aswell! i always like to please!