A review of Super Mario Galaxy

[Chris Britton]

Now I know you may judge me as being hippocritical by even starting a game review, i never finished the Oblivion one but the fact of the matter was that game was simply no-where near as fun as Morrowind, I was able to immerse myself better into a lump of Blu-tack and create a more involving story. Yes the game was good, beautful and what we expected from a TES game but it seemed like the shine which made Morrowind great was lacking. However a twist of fate was dealt to me by being allowed to have a go on the latest helping from the plumbers belly as well as the hilariously true review on Zero Punctuation. So without further ado lets begin.

So lets start from the basics, the plot. however I am unable to keep a straight face at the sound of that and the tumbleweed floating past my eyes can only justify that in the Super Mario series you can easily get more diversity just by looking at the races which live in England. I am aware the genre never has much fo a take but Nintendo mercilessly recycles what there is of oen to the point i feel it's just better if we accept Global Warming as something new and different. Basically Peanut for brains Bowser has (yawn) once again kidnapps the dumb blonde of a bitch Princess peach for the upteenth ****ing time. meaning you have to once again collecting ****ing stars again. I seriously don't know what pisses me off more. the fact saw that coming or the fact that Nintendo likes to think that just smacking the pony to create the illusion it moves will get more life out of the franchise, it's like squeezing a soapy sponge, yes soap comes out but in more diminishing and less amusing levels! Why can Peach tighten the castle or at least have some ****ing secret service agents to act as paranoid as they do at the White House! One advantage they have is at least they keep the damm President alive even though he is just as thick! maybe that will be the setting for the next Super Mario game? I mean whats the point? We all know she just blows him off like the whore she is. if i was Mario i would tell her shove it, learn to grow up, wish Bowser all the best and then shell out $10 for a hooker! it's not pretty but i can't imagine the amount of times Mario's had to jerk off because she takes teasing beyond proportion. At least that way the poor man can have a rest and some action. Why he keeps rescuing her for no reward when he could spend his days sunbathing beggars belief.

But anyway, that aside the game actually looks quite good, Nintendo have once again shown they can create a visually stunning yet cartoony world which makes your eyes water, it gives a sense of scale and appeals to those who like exploring. the puzzles and challenges are actually fun too although what the hell's new about collecting stars?! However it is able to utilize the bizarre and random and wacky to fantastic effect faster then an Aspergers kid can do that to a Neurotypical, and believe me, i've tried. The whole game is beautiful and would be the bitch of the prison. however that becomes hollow and cracked faster then your mum after a hard day in the office. Nintendo's sad and lonely desire to repeat the same ****ing thing every ****ing time on every ****ing game is finally starting to show. Theres no variety any more, it's still too linear and predictable and it does not take a genius with an IQ of 350 from Princeton to work that one out. the boss fights not even as hard hard as one of my pizzas I've half eaten and saved for breakfast. It's like all the characters have given up trying now. To ease your fears Mario saves the world (again) and gets no reward (again)

The fact is, the Mario series has been stripped of it's depth faster then a bunch of repo men in an apartment. The series has been dug up, bulldozed, burned alive, salted and blown up of all the ideas. Like Sega's poor effort to take Sonic off life support you may feel as I do that Mario now should be allowed to live his days in peace being placed on a breathing machine so we don't forget him. it also raises the question of how on earth can they keep going forward with the series. I can;t begin to imagine the titles in stock. Super Mario parallel dimension? Super Mario Real Life? Black hole, Supernova? I could go on but I've already destroyed enough brain cells wondering how many more of Nintendo's brainless executives can possibly think taking the same game, slapping new graphics and making it slightly bigger and more repetitive is going to work, it's like a board meeting at Fiat.

However, despite all this the wii controller actually helps you feel you are the fat midget like plumber running like theres a custard donut dangling on string in front of him. it;s actually a challenge unlike the amount of clones, ripoff and spin off we have sadly seen in this decade. It's still the best Mario game out there since Sunshine and it will appeal to veterans or the newbies, it's not great but maybe if Nintendo actually tried digging into the barrel of depth once again maybe Mario might write the gaming headlines again.

So there you go, it's an ok game to appeal to all ages but don't expect anything special. Nintendo is still riding on the Super Mario 64 cloud like a stoned hippie and sadly the series peaked there and they are still trying and probably never will recapture as long as they think doing the same game works, it never will and it;s only due to the popularity fo the character he si still fit and healthy. if you want sometihng special try to find a computer able to run Crysis on max settings and we can talk.

[Recurring Villain]

I got up to the 'Oblivion was dull' part and immediately decided to disregard your advice.

Oblivion ftw.

[Danny Stewart]

Originally Posted by Recurring Villain

I got up to the 'Oblivion was dull' part and immediately decided to disregard your advice.

Oblivion ftw.

I have to agree.

[Chris Britton]

Ok, maybe not dull but not as good as Morrowind. I will just edit.

[Ronnie Rowlands]

This review angers me.

[Chris Britton]

it merey backs up the fact that Nintendo, although having overtaken Sony have been jumped by Microsoft. Thanks in part to Microsoft getting the early jump with a top of the range no-nonsense console with the best online support for any console and Sony placing so much emphassis on next gen and vesitility they actually forgot that blu-Ray looks no better then DVD and they they need some games to actually play the thing, which is lacking. Added to lack fo support, constant delays and stupid prices and re-releases. They seem to just reuse the same game except with better graphics, although Sony also can be regarded as doing the same, The original Tomb Raider series for starters. The Wii is a great console except we now have the wireless end of a joystick, which is good as it;s giving a new dimension to gaming, it's just not quite there yet.

Next game on the list will be Crysis

[Ronnie Rowlands]

Don't care about that. It is the way you spoke of the plot that angered me. "Why doesn't he just get rid of the whore" or words to that effect. It is the Mario formula, it is also a children's game. I don't think they'll care that he's saving the princess again. It's like saying "oh that damn Columbo, ****ing solving cases for the police force AGAIN! Finding clues and arresting killers, BORING! Why doesn't he tell them to do it themselves? Same old, same old."

[Chris Britton]

I think your font is awesome

[Josef Kenny]

I think the font was shit and it's impossible to read. I'll take Trebuchet any day.

And that was my review of the font.

[Ronnie Rowlands]

changed for you both. Way to stick to the point, guys.

[Danny Stewart]

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

Ok, maybe not dull but not as good as Morrowind. I will just edit.

Hated Morrowind. Loved Oblivion.

Originally Posted by Rat Souffle

I think the font was shit and it's impossible to read. I'll take Trebuchet any day.

Agreed.

[Jamie Minty]

I know we all have different opinions about things obviously but i have to disagree (strongly)

Mario Galaxy is one of the best games out, yes made for kids but i d be bored if all i played were shooting etc games for an older audience.

The stories not bad and they put more effort into it than in past Mario games, its got great replay value as the game's story is completed half way through your star collecting, even when you have all 120 stars you can replay as Luigi.

The graphics are some of the best we have seen yet on the Wii, and is probably one of the reasons the Wii was hugely out of stock this xmas.

And a Mario game without Peach being kidnapped would be like a James Bond film without BOND or girls or cars or the theme tine.

A Mario game (except spin-offs) is only a Mario game when Peach is kidnapped. People take the piss out of her character as shes always kidnapped but it doesn't in anyway flaw the story.

SMG is actually one of the best games i have ever played, possibly even [B]the[ /B]best. Nintendo can make crap games but when they make good ones they make them GOOOOOOOOD!
SMG, Zelda: Twilight Princess, Metroid Prime 3, Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros Brawl to name the ones on Wii.

(gasps for air)

rant over!

EDIT: more ranting to follow:

And who cares if its samey. If they changed it too much then it would suck (Sunshine with FLUDD). Its been tried with Mario in Sunshine, In the Pokemon Games for GC and im sure other popular series. Some games need the samey storey as thats one of their best features. The only games i can think of that have had pretty big changes to their story and have been good are COD and Advance Wars with the spin-off Battalion Wars. But im sure they're are others!

Rant finally over

by the way Chris this isn't a dig at you in anyway, just a sort of response in the debate

Another edit:
Some of that as Ronnie said is offensive and just unnecessary. Mario's love life is his business!

[Jamie Minty]

Here i am again:

http://www.game.co.uk/lowdown.aspx?lid=8128

And i rest my case! (ironic Orange Box is there as ive been mentioning that too)

http://www.game.co.uk/lowdown.aspx?l...nav-_-awards07

All the awards here show how good Nintendo have done for Wii and DS!

[Chris Britton]

Nothing wrong with a bit of banter, i enjoyed reading your point

As i said before, the Wii is a great console, it's clever, it shows Nintendo can think outside the box, it does it job and does so by getting the point immediately. the reason it got leapfrogged by Microsoft is because they got a massive jump in the market and they target a much bigger audience and the standard of games is excellent. While the Wii, it's generally more for the younger generation, the games may not look as nice but they are a beautiful mesh of colours and while it may not blow you away, it does not let you down, it;s tough and holds it's ground.. The Ps3 feels like your playing with a Mr Universe winner. It's become dead last because nobody has a clue what to do with it thats actually fun, Sony have not allowed the full potential to be allowed on any game.

[Recurring Villain]

Originally Posted by Danny Stewart

Hated Morrowind. Loved Oblivion.

+1

As much as I think the Mario franchise is a tired concept, you can't say that Microsoft doesn't milk franchises. Age of Empires, Battletech, Halo; they're all milked franchises. Every publisher does it. However, the difference between MGS and other publishers is that the franchises Microsoft milks don't usually get worse over time (amirite EA?), which is why MGS are one of the best publishers out there.

All that said, give me CoD4 over Mario any day. Oorah! I'm perfectly happy to play shooters forever.

[Chris Britton]

CoD 4 did feel like something new. it was a wonderful experience and it proves that Call of Duty is able to retain it's place as the principle of what a modern FPS based as closely on fact as possible should be. It also highlights the fact EA does not seem to try very hard with MoH anymore. Airbourne was the best they have done in a while but it was not THAT good. it felt like i was returning to an Ex-Girlfriend who had tried to beef herself up to your standards but sadly it was more out of desperation then pure effort. if im married to any war franchise it is currently Call of Duty, me and MoH had a quiet divorce a few years ago.

[Josef Kenny]

I like shooters, but I also like platformers. Not 3D platformers, mind.

[Recurring Villain]

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

Call of Duty...'s place as the principle of what a modern FPS ... should be.

If you play any other FPS after CoD4 it feels unnatural shooting at things without being able to aim down the sight. I tried playing Halo today and it feels really weird shooting at things with these two sticks pointing at each other across the screen.

[Danny Stewart]

Originally Posted by Recurring Villain

If you play any other FPS after CoD4 it feels unnatural shooting at things without being able to aim down the sight.

Call of Duty 4 is most certainly not the first game to make good use of ironsight aiming. My brother has disliked games that do not support the use of ironsight long before CoD4 ever came out.

[Chris Britton]

The earliest Game i can remember which had iron sight was Call of Duty: Finest Hour for the Ps2. I don't know any prior shooter which did that, although MoH decided to adopt it because it was losing ground to CoD and still is.

Once I do crysis this weekend i may look into doing CoD 4