How would the forums cope with a Zombie outbreak?

Chris Britton · #1 June 7, 2007, 5:56 PM

Reecently i bought a copy of the survival/satire book The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, despite the obviousness of the humour side. I must admit the ideas for fighting undead are quite sensible should the situation ever pop up. I felt a need to disscuss survival tips with you guys.

So lets imagine for a moment, the undead have arisen, you don't have long to act, and all we have is each other. How would we, the family that is DS.com forums survive the war against the undead, and then rebuild civilisation in our image? What steps should we take should the end of the world come upon us?

Recurring Villain · #2 June 7, 2007, 9:21 PM

I'd give Ross a crucifix to shake at the Zombies. Probably wouldn't work but while they're eating him they're, at least, not eating the rest of us.

I'd probably get Ben to rock out somewhere and then we could all get chainsaws and go all DOOM on their ass.

Or hedge-clippers.

Danny Stewart · #3 June 7, 2007, 10:15 PM

ROFL. RV is in charge in the event of a zombie attack.

Recurring Villain · #4 June 7, 2007, 10:32 PM

Originally Posted by Danny Stewart

ROFL. RV is in charge in the event of a zombie attack.

Thankee for this honour, Danny.

Chris Britton · #5 June 8, 2007, 3:02 AM

Um, you realise while ben is rocking more and more will converge on our location

Recurring Villain · #6 June 8, 2007, 3:26 AM

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

Um, you realise while ben is rocking more and more will converge on our location

That's why we have Chainsaws. When Ben is rocking out, we get super powers. We attract all the metalhead zombies to one place and take a bloodbath.

If worst comes to worst, we can get Ben to play some Simple Plan to scare them away. But that is an absolute last measure. Imagine Hiroshima with an Emo fringe.

Jez · #7 June 8, 2007, 4:11 AM

Shaun of the Dead pub fight scene to Queen ftw.

Chris Britton · #8 June 8, 2007, 4:40 AM

Ok, how would you use the chainsaws, once the zombies start getting close, more and more will, especially with loud noises, not only are chainsaws noisy, they require a lot of power you need to carry around

, i say you carry a sharp weapon and slice them to bits, or chuck acid over them

, or use someone as a diversion

Recurring Villain · #9 June 8, 2007, 5:19 AM

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

i say you carry a sharp weapon

FYI: Chainsaws = sharp.

#10 June 8, 2007, 10:16 AM

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

someone as a diversion

I could do that! I would stand up and throw apples at them and call the names.- "Look at me fat Zombie man" Whilst their heads or turned, everyone else could use their sharp chainsaw to kill them!!

MI7 · #11 June 8, 2007, 10:26 AM

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

i say you carry a sharp weapon

DA-DA DA-DA-DA DA DA-DA-DA-DAAA

Chris Britton · #12 June 8, 2007, 11:16 AM

That works fine

and Chainsaws are shite for defending against zombies, they are sharp yes, but they are nosy, lose power quickly, and you might find by the time you have dispatched the group with it, 10 times that many are close by

so if you want to do that, fine, i will be looking for the most isolated place on earth to Hunker down in

Ross Hendrie · #13 June 8, 2007, 12:27 PM

It's Vampires you shake crucifixes at, RV.

Recurring Villain · #14 June 8, 2007, 8:16 PM

Originally Posted by Ross Hendrie

It's Vampires you shake crucifixes at, RV.

I wouldn't be surprised if you shook crucifixes at everything. Every time I post you're probably sitting there, trying to get God to smite me down...

I wouldn't be surprised if you have something like this hanging up on your wall:

Chris Britton · #15 June 8, 2007, 9:10 PM

Hang on, that sounded out of order there RV. Ross is correct, according to lore, Vampies can be killed by a cricifix. RV, what you said was bang out of order. I understand Ross is religious, yes sometimes he should chill out, bit what you said was not appropriate. >

I suggest you take back what you said and say sorry. The fact you even made pictures is just goung over the top terribly. That is a deliberate and very stupid insult, and i am ashamed you have come out with it. Despite the fact ross has taken things seriously at times, we never said what you did, he made a valid and true point, one whch i can back up. I request you say sorry right now or i will remove the offensive material and report you at once. I am shocked to see even you have done this, and I had hoped we all could be more respectful.

Danny Stewart · #16 June 8, 2007, 9:42 PM

ROFLMFAO. RV, that may have been the single greatest work of art I have ever had the fortune of being exposed to in my brief span on this world. Thank you for making my day just that much better.

Chris Britton · #17 June 8, 2007, 9:44 PM

Danny! I am shocked and suprised at you! I know we all took the mick out of ross at some point, But this out out of order! What on earth are you doing! RV is clearly abusing his privilages! I thought this site was for anyone of any walk fo life, and here you are laughing and supporting the bullying of Ross! I am shocked and upset by your stance.

I thought you would be more accepting.

what on earth are you doing!

Recurring Villain · #18 June 8, 2007, 9:52 PM

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

I request you say sorry right now or i will remove the offensive material and report you at once. I am shocked to see even you have done this, and I had hoped we all could be more respectful.

I'm sorry I've had such an effect on you, as this material was intended to be humorous. Normally, I would respect the request of a staff member to take the offending material down, except:

Originally Posted by Danny Stewart

ROFLMFAO. RV, that may have been the single greatest work of art I have ever had the fortune of being exposed to in my brief span on this world. Thank you for making my day just that much better.

I'm actually providing a service for you guys. I make the forum entertaining for Danny, and in return Danny doesn't become an emo kid and take the forum down! It's a win-win situation!

Danny Stewart · #19 June 8, 2007, 9:54 PM

I loved the post. You heard RV -- he didn't mean it seriously. I'm surprised he actually had to make that clear... I thought it was extremely obvious myself. You guys take things way too seriously.

Recurring Villain · #20 June 8, 2007, 9:56 PM

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

...supporting the bullying of Ross!

It's called satire, my friend. I'm not so much making fun of Ross as I am making fun of his beliefs. I'm sure if he can come up with something showing how 'stupid' science and/or atheism is, Danny wouldn't stop him.