Short Stories by James

James P. · #1 July 21, 2008, 7:20 PM

Doctor Who
Monkey See, Monkey Do
By James P. Quick

"Jo," the Doctor said, "I’m going for a little scout round outside. Be back in a flash." The Doctor’s ditzy assistant looked up from her book, "OK, Doctor, just stay out of trouble."

"Alright, see you in a bit," the Time Lord said, stepping out into a dying planet.

The Doctor looked up and saw a monkey-like creature inspecting the top of the TARDIS. The creature was a candy apple red color with a forked tail. It had a 2nd pair of eyes on its chest where its nipples should have been.

"Excuse me! Would you mind climbing off my TARDIS?" the Doctor asked in an irritated tone.

The creature looked at him in fear and stuttered, "S-s-sorry, I d-didn’t m-m-mean t-to! I was j-j-just c-c-curious!"

It climbed down and stood in front of the Doctor. It smiled weakly. It had no teeth in the front of its mouth. Now that he had a better look, the Doctor noticed the creature was painfully thin, all of its 4 ribs showing.

"It’s alright," the Doctor extended his hand. "I am the Doctor, pleased to make your aquaintence, erm… I never quite got your name."

"O-oh, I am Ermaque the All-Powerful. I once ruled a small group of others like myself. I am the last of my kind, the Xionians. We were the original inhabitants of Isifi 2," Ermaque finally stopped stuttering and shook the Doctor’s hand.

"Goodness, I’ve heard the sunsets here were beautiful, but this seems too bright!" the Doctor put the side of his right hand to his brow.

"That is why you must leave here," Ermaque said. "As soon as that sun sets in 8 minutes, it will expand and engulf Insifi 2 along with me. And, if you are still here, you, too."

"My, you seem to need a bit of help, Mr. Ermaque. Would you like to come with me in the TARDIS?"

"No, Doctor, I must stay. It is my duty as the protector of the forest that once stood here. You go and enjoy the joy of life. I must accept my inferno of a fate," Ermaque saluted the Doctor. The Doctor saluted him back.

"Goodbye, Ermaque," the Doctor smiled. "You truly are a noble soul, it was a pleasure to’ve met you." And with that having been said, the Doctor stepped into the TARDIS and departed while Ermaque looked at the setting sun.

"Ah, truly noble…" Ermaque’s voice trailed off as the sun set and Insifi 2 was engulfed by its ever-expanding sun.
----------------------------
Loosely based of a story from Whofic called Slumber at Dawn by mary_pseud. The story is part of a series called Damnatio Memriae.

Link to Slumber at Dawn: http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=7499
Link to Damnatio Memriae: http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=98

More stories soon...

Jamie Minty · #2 July 22, 2008, 7:44 AM

Good well done!

Not sure about the 3rd Doctor but I doubt that the 10th Doctor would let him stay.

Still very nice!

James P. · #3 July 22, 2008, 9:25 AM

Thanks. To clarify, the planet's called Insifi 2, not Isifi 2 as I spelt it in on sentence. Typos=confusing and irritating.

Next Story: The 4 Doctors- Prologue

I like multi-Doctor specials.

Danny Stewart · #4 July 22, 2008, 12:00 PM

Originally Posted by Jamie Minty

Good well done!

What universe are you from?

Megan's away for a few days with no internet, so I read this to her over the phone. We were crying from laughter.

Chris Britton · #5 July 22, 2008, 1:09 PM

Originally Posted by Danny Stewart

What universe are you from?

Megan's away for a few days with no internet, so I read this to her over the phone. We were crying from laughter.

I believe we are supposed to be over this nonsense, at least he's making an effort and doing something he likes, lets see you post a short story Danny.

Danny, i don't wish to sound like I am having a go at you, but such behavior is remarkably childish, give him credit for at least trying, no need to put the guy down for doing something he enjoys.

Josef Kenny · #6 July 22, 2008, 1:12 PM

It's shit

Jamie Minty · #7 July 22, 2008, 4:38 PM

Originally Posted by Danny Stewart

What universe are you from?

One where I'm not insulting to the same person over and over again.

It's not best story EVER!

But I give him the credit for trying and his writing seems to be fine.

Could do with some expansion on the monkey man. Its just hello ... goodbye!

Chris Britton · #8 July 22, 2008, 5:58 PM

Originally Posted by Jamie Minty

One where I'm not insulting to the same person over and over again.

It's not best story EVER!

But I give him the credit for trying and his writing seems to be fine.

Could do with some expansion on the monkey man. Its just hello ... goodbye!

Nice to see some creative criticism and credit given to James here, much more mature then others in this instance.

Danny Stewart · #9 July 22, 2008, 6:38 PM

Originally Posted by Rat Souffle

It's shit

Glad someone here has some sense. My ridiculing of this story has nothing to do with who wrote it. It has to do only with its quality.

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

Danny, i don't wish to sound like I am having a go at you, but such behavior is remarkably childish,

I disagree. I am merely expressing my honest opinion of the story. I found it so bad it was laughable. Obviously I'm not alone.

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

give him credit for at least trying,

I'd prefer to give him credit for succeeding. Sadly I can't.

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

no need to put the guy down for doing something he enjoys.

Of course not. There does appear to be need to put him down for sharing it here though.

Chris Britton · #10 July 22, 2008, 6:51 PM

Originally Posted by Danny Stewart

Glad someone here has some sense. My ridiculing of this story has nothing to do with who wrote it. It has to do only with its quality.

I disagree. I am merely expressing my honest opinion of the story. I found it so bad it was laughable. Obviously I'm not alone.

I'd prefer to give him credit for succeeding. Sadly I can't.

Of course not. There does appear to be need to put him down for sharing it here though.

So Rv insults megan and he gets booted but your allowed to insult other people and allow it, how the fuck does that work Danny?

James P. · #11 July 22, 2008, 6:52 PM

To Jamie & Chris:
Thank you for defending me.
To Danny and Rat:
Do you have like some sort of chronic disease that makes you put down everything I do?

Chris Britton · #12 July 22, 2008, 6:56 PM

Originally Posted by James P.

To Jamie & Chris:
Thank you for defending me.
To Danny and Rat:
Do you have like some sort of chronic disease that makes you put down everything I do?

I think the disease they have is brain rot, while not a real disease to my knowledge taken out of context it would explain a lot about them, they seem to have forgotten they are nothing special and putting you down does not make them the best human brings which ever lived, puts them down with the likes of Hitler, who also treated others utterly terribly because they were different.

James P. · #13 July 22, 2008, 6:58 PM

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

I think the disease they have is brain rot

Yeah.

Superkid11 · #14 July 22, 2008, 8:13 PM

FFS it wasn't an insult. It was just his opinion on the story. To be honest Rat's is far more borderline than Danny's. he just said he and Megan laughed at it where as Rat said "IT'S SHIT" in huge letters. Though even then he didn't directly insult James.
You're being overdefensive of him Chris.

An example of a true insult:
"Your story sucks and you suck for posting it. You are a talentless idiot." - That's an insult.

Danny Stewart · #15 July 22, 2008, 8:23 PM

Originally Posted by Superkid11

FFS it wasn't an insult. It was just his opinion on the story. To be honest Rat's is far more borderline than Danny's. he just said he and Megan laughed at it where as Rat said "IT'S SHIT" in huge letters. Though even then he didn't directly insult James.
You're being overdefensive of him Chris.

An example of a true insult:
"Your story sucks and you suck for posting it. You are a talentless idiot." - That's an insult.

*applause*

Now this is the kind of person I want on my staff.

Chris Britton · #16 July 22, 2008, 8:38 PM

Fine, whatever.

Kody · #17 July 22, 2008, 8:40 PM

Chris, please read my latest PM to you. This thread is being cleaned up right now.

Superkid11 · #18 July 22, 2008, 8:44 PM

I do think more constructive opinions should be posted in the future though.

As for the topic at hand. James, I regret to say I see where they're coming from. The story was rather... odd. The melodrama was pretty corny and it all just seemed WTFish. It came out in a "So bad it's good" kind of way. Like Snakes on a Plane.
However, you do have potential. I have a feeling as you get older you will certainly improve. Keep at it. I just don't suggest you post anything here.

Chris Britton · #19 July 22, 2008, 8:47 PM

Originally Posted by Kody

Chris, please read my latest PM to you. This thread is being cleaned up right now.

I read Kody, and i say again that seeing Danny post things like "This is who I want on my Staff." is very hard to take, since we agreed I would come back as a Moderator to try and clear things up, and since he is obviously not listening to me, and appointing people who just follow his ideas is making me wonder why i have even bothered. Anyone who logs onto a forum to read that something they posted is getting laugh at over the phone is going to be upset! To them, thats an insult.

Yes I may be sticking up for James a lot, but what Danny and Rat posted was pointless, childish and not even explained as to why they hated it. It's still a form of bullying.

Danny Stewart · #20 July 22, 2008, 8:47 PM

In the interest of being constructive, I shall quote someone who is.

Originally Posted by Superkid11

The melodrama was pretty corny and it all just seemed WTFish.

Agreed.