Tom's Bored Creations - Page 2

Recurring Villain · #21 January 24, 2007, 9:27 AM

Cowbells are part of a huge conspiracy. Peoples minds get warped by subliminal messages created Cowbell salesmen in red pinstripe suits so that all music afterwards sounds like it "needs more cowbell", even if they have no knowledge of what a cowbell is.

But there are those of us who fight them. We call ourselves the Teachers, and our mission is to re-educate the world and stop Cowbus Industries from taking over music forever...

Danny Stewart · #22 January 24, 2007, 9:34 AM

I knew RV would have fun with this.

Ben Dawson · #23 January 24, 2007, 9:58 AM

"I am not with Cowbus industries, I am with C.B.I.C, I am not the enemy, I am good for all your cowbell needs, and without trying to plant subliminal messages, you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours".

Jez · #24 January 24, 2007, 10:22 AM

Originally Posted by Recurring Villain

Cowbells are part of a huge conspiracy. Peoples minds get warped by subliminal messages created Cowbell salesmen in red pinstripe suits so that all music afterwards sounds like it "needs more cowbell", even if they have no knowledge of what a cowbell is.

But there are those of us who fight them. We call ourselves the Teachers, and our mission is to re-educate the world and stop Cowbus Industries from taking over music forever...

Unfortunately for you, I am a Teacher of Cowbell Theory. It's a secret....it was a secret organisation looking at the methology of the Cowbell Salesmen, the perks of the cowbell and how we can excercise these perks without making something that sounds like, in scientific terms, cack.

Oh, and we have a completely unrequired underground base with gadgets and gizmos that just aren't needed. The month of February is when it all changes and you gotta be ready.

Recurring Villain · #25 January 24, 2007, 6:17 PM

You're infringing my intellectual property there MATE.

Don't force me to go RIAA on your ass.

Jez · #26 January 25, 2007, 5:34 AM

WE'RE WINNER.

We've cracked it! It's quite a rigmarole to get the perks but it works!
It requires:

- An automatic gun of any sort. We found the M16 assault rifle gave the best results, although the good old AK47 gives almost equal results for those working to a budget.
- A DJ (we tried out the Pete Tong model of DJ but it went.....Pete Tong! Best to stick to either the Paul Van Dyk (german efficiency) or the Marco V models)
- A cowbell (otherwise there's no source!)
- Any substance that allows one to step into another dimension (for this aspect, all of our test subjects kinda lost it so we have no recommendation for this - best advice is to let your budget decide)
- A huge period of FPS multiplaying. We think the minimum is 34 hours although for best results, we recommend 57 hours. Any game will suffice, although naturally, America's Army, any Battlefield game or perhaps some CS will work. For advice on how to use CS to it's best, consult your FPS_Doug manuals.
- A piece of paper; plain (white) is best.
- A period of sunny weather. Australia, central Africa or certain parts of China are best for this. We recommend either of the first two because anything word that begins with "A" is more trustworthy.
- A random person. Any will do although those with a short temper or who have been convicted of murder/manslaughter are ideal.
- A small room. One with walls on all sides is best.
- Nothing else. We recommend thin-air for this. A vaccuum can be used but survival rates are very low for this method.

Instructions: Do what you wish with the above.

Recurring Villain · #27 January 25, 2007, 7:21 AM

So we find a small LAN cafe in the sun with an angry, criminal owner and convince a DJ it's a nightclub, depressurise it, place the peice of paper at the doorstep and start playing CounterStrike while the DJ uses excessive cowbell. Once we have attracted the cowbell salesmen, one of us sneaks out into the sun where HDR has prevented the salesmen from seeing the pure white paper in the glare, and pull it out from under their feet while activating the the dimension-tearing device, creating a localized resonance cascade and spewing them into Xen.

Gotcha. I'll get right to it.

Jez · #28 January 25, 2007, 12:13 PM

One thing is missing. You forgot the automatic weapon....oh, and there's one small thing - you have to die as a result anything and everything possible from all of that.

The perks? You get to play a cowbell on a cloud rather than a harp. Cool, eh?

Danny Stewart · #29 January 25, 2007, 5:36 PM

LOL. You two are funny.

Recurring Villain · #30 January 25, 2007, 8:55 PM

Originally Posted by Jez

One thing is missing. You forgot the automatic weapon....oh, and there's one small thing - you have to die as a result anything and everything possible from all of that.

I didn't forget it; it's used if anything goes wrong.

Roland T. Blackviser · #31 January 27, 2007, 6:51 PM

I know this may seem off topic, but I have a fever and nothing seems to work on it. Anyone got any ideas?

Jez · #32 January 28, 2007, 5:59 AM

Drink water and sports drinks to keep hydrated and use damp cloths to mop your brow.

Then just wait for it to pass. If you really want to, I guess you could ask the pharmacist/doctors for some drugs but I don't know about that. (I just put up with it

)

Recurring Villain · #33 January 28, 2007, 9:59 PM

Originally Posted by Roland T. Blackviser

I know this may seem off topic, but I have a fever and nothing seems to work on it. Anyone got any ideas?

You need a Doctor. A special kind of Doctor.

They're called General Physicians.

Jez · #34 January 29, 2007, 5:14 AM

Originally Posted by Recurring Villain

They're called General Physicians.

Which is crazy really because they know nothing about physics! One said a quick dose ionic energy would fix my enlarged [omitted]. He then asked me to leave because of my ironic energy. What an arse!

*Thread Hijacked*

Roland T. Blackviser · #35 January 31, 2007, 6:03 PM

Thanks for your help guys. I wasn't actually sick, but was in fact trying to set up a joke.

Anyone seen the Saturday Night Live sketch about the Blue Oyster Cult? Christopher Walken is a producer who keeps saying their song "needs more cowbell." Eventually, he says "Listen, I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell."

I guess none of you saw that sketch.

Ronnie Rowlands · #36 February 1, 2007, 4:53 PM

Originally Posted by Jez

fix my enlarged [omitted]

If this were OG, I'd point you in the direction of the leisure hive!!!

MI7 · #37 February 10, 2007, 10:43 AM

Started my Merged theme from scratch. Here's Version 3:

Doctor Who Merged Theme

Enjoyz.

Note: This one follows the Series Two bassline intro. I'll upload a version soon that uses the Series One bassline intro as well

.

Ben Dawson · #38 February 10, 2007, 1:00 PM

the bassline in the middle-eight sounds like the one from the album version, and the ending deffinitely follows the albums version. Great work, it always blends together so well.

Jez · #39 February 10, 2007, 1:54 PM

Nice stuff Tom.

*Thread Restored*

Dalek104 · #40 February 10, 2007, 4:12 PM

What Jez said.

If any comment on improvement, maybe the screams could be a little quieter? It's still really good and blended wonderfully, though!