Hai

[Recurring Villain]

This is a tale explaining the manner in which My way of life was rotated along a Y axis until it reached a position roughly 180 degrees from that which it started If I could have 60 seconds of your time, simply place your posterior in the selected location And I will relate to you the details of how I was made the male monarch of the district of the City of Los Angeles, California commonly referred to as Bel-Air (coordinates 34.08333 -118.44778)
In the western region of the “City of Brotherly Love” known as Philadelphia my mother expelled me from her womb and indeed that is also where I spent my childhood in my mother’s care The majority of my time was spent in a recreational area containing such diversions as a jungle gym, swing set, sand box, etc. I was typically at the height of leisure while frequently at a temperature slightly below what might be considered standard room temperature Outside of my educational institution I was engaging in a game of basketball with some of my friends When a couple of gentlemen who seemed to be of the disposition to cause a great deal of mischief Began causing a great deal of chaos and disharmony in the area in which I lived I was involved in one rather small bout of fisticuffs after which my mother became concerned for my general safety and well-being And she informed me that I would be moving in with her sister and her sister’s husband in the previously mentioned community of Bel-Air
I implored my mother to relent approximately 24-48 hours ago Yet she gathered my belongings in a somewhat flat, rectangular shaped piece of luggage and expelled me from her presence She placed her lips upon my cheek in an affectionate manner and handed me a pre-purchased pass for public transportation I placed the headphones for my personal music system into my ears and verbalized the idea that I may as well impact this situation with my foot Traveling in the highest available level of comfort, this is indeed an unfortunate situation (although I make this statement with some irony) Consuming the juices obtained by the squeezing of the fruit of a Citrus sinensis from a piece of glass stemware commonly reserved for the sipping of sparkling wine originating from the Champagne region of France I pause to wonder if this is indeed how the residents of the admittedly upper-class neighborhood of Bel-Air commonly live Indeed I find this situation may be rather to my enjoyment
I puckered my lips and exhaled forcefully to produce a shrill note in order to gain the attention of a taxicab driver and as the driver approached I observed his California vanity plate which in place of the traditional jumble of alpha-numeric characters, used only the letters F, R, E, S, and H, spelling out the word “fresh” and from his rearview mirror dangled a pair of oversized, fur-covered cubes decorated to look like the six-sided dice commonly used in gambling and board games In such a situation I could have made a statement about the unusualness of this particular taxicab to the point of it being nearly unique Instead I cogitatively decided against it and instead informed the driver that he should deliver me to what was to become my new home in the community of Bel-Air
We pulled up to a large domicile sometime between the hours of 7 and 8 o’clock And in a loud tone of voice I informed the cab driver that at some undetermined point in the future I would again detect his odor through my sense of olfaction I gazed about the region of land that I was destined to rule, reflecting on my arrival Where I would claim my rightful place upon the throne, from which I would govern the community of Bel-Air as monarch

[Jez]

Didn't read all of it because it was ONE LONG INCREDIBLY UNBROKEN PARAGRAPH MOVING FROM TOPIC TO TOPIC SO THAT NO ONE HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AWAY AND AS SUCH, it really wasn't quite hypnotic....

...But from what I did read: lol.

[Josef Kenny]

Your sig in your message = Fail?

[tardis2008]

Fantastic.
The catchiness of that theme shines out even in this form
but Jesus this must have took a while to think up

[Danny Stewart]

Originally Posted by Jez

Didn't read all of it because it was ONE LONG INCREDIBLY UNBROKEN PARAGRAPH MOVING FROM TOPIC TO TOPIC SO THAT NO ONE HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AWAY AND AS SUCH, it really wasn't quite hypnotic....

...But from what I did read: lol.

Seconded.

And you once berated Hamster for a similar offense.