Atonement for our behaviour

[Superkid11]

I'll miss you Chris.

Originally Posted by Danny Stewart

Thank you. That's the bottom line here. Check the URL, and if you don't like the decisions that I make, then leave. It's entirely up to me how I run this site, and I'm perfectly entitled to make wildly unjustified decisions. However in all honesty, I don't think I have. Not before, and certainly not now.

So be it then...

Oh look RV is a mod now.
Now I really hope James doesn't come back.

[Jamie Minty]

Originally Posted by Ben Dawson

Jamie Minty isn't bullied half as much as James has been, and James has been at the fore-front of severe bullying in my opinion.

I agree with you.

I wouldn't say I'm bullied, people try to get at me but I've learned just to overlook it.

But the recent thread about James was nasty. I was thinking about it the other day. I did post in there, nothing to serious just a quote of his but I still feel bad about it.

Ronnie said to me a while back that I try to jump on the DSF bandwagon and I actually think he is right. I try to fit in sometimes but some people try to push me back out or try to get at me. But if I don't try to fit in I'm completely ignored.

But this is about James, I had to get that off my chest!

[Ben Dawson]

Well, I can't believe what this forum has begun, it used to be a safe haven for me. A 2nd home, now it is only a place of poison, and I can't believe how many arrogant people are on here, so it is with much saddness that I report that I am bailing this sinking ship.
Good Bye

[Josef Kenny]

BEN! Don't go! WE LOVE YOU!!!!

No seriously that's not sarcasm.

[Ben Dawson]

I'm afraid, in order for me to change my mind, then the people running this place would have to stop being arrogant, bullying bastards. I don't care if I get banned for saying that, because Danny has become just like Hitler, and all who are following what he says whole-heartedly are just plain and simply his Nazi's.
Or, in other terms, Danny is Davros, and RV is Nyder, and all the others are just the other Kaleds, who can't decide who's side they're on.
It seems bloody unlikely there will be change, I will NOT say what's needed to change, because just the fact that I'd need to means that the people on here HONESTLY don't see anything wrong with their actions, and I'm afraid that that is just extremely disheartening.
Sorry.

[Josef Kenny]

This place is breaking apart. I can't handle it.

[Kody]

Dear lord.

The heck is going on in here?

Chris. I don't wish to see you leave, or you Ben. But calm down for a moment and stop ranting about injustice and 'poison' and all these over dramatic terms.

Going against the wishes of an administrator of a website, of any place, is bad etiquette and shows a lack of respect. You wouldn't do it in real life to your boss, now would you? If you felt that strongly, you should have dropped Danny a PM, email or hit him up on chat.

Chris, Ben. Neither of you responded to my post and answered with what you'd like to see done. All you've done so far is post wild threads citing how horrible things are and that you'll leave. If you auctually want to fix this problem, please post something constructive towards fixing it.

I don't mean this in a rude manner, but take a chill pill, please. :\

[MI7]

Nice Genesis of the Daleks analogy. Maybe we should put everyone who wants to leave in a room and let our Daleks shoot them

PS Yes I know the rest of us will all get shot by the Daleks as well about 5 minutes after that, but I was trying to to mention that point.

[Chris Britton]

Originally Posted by Ben Dawson

I'm afraid, in order for me to change my mind, then the people running this place would have to stop being arrogant, bullying bastards. I don't care if I get banned for saying that, because Danny has become just like Hitler, and all who are following what he says whole-heartedly are just plain and simply his Nazi's.
Or, in other terms, Danny is Davros, and RV is Nyder, and all the others are just the other Kaleds, who can't decide who's side they're on.
It seems bloody unlikely there will be change, I will NOT say what's needed to change, because just the fact that I'd need to means that the people on here HONESTLY don't see anything wrong with their actions, and I'm afraid that that is just extremely disheartening.
Sorry.

I'm with ben on this, I may have said I am quitting, and I am not changing with that. But I have monitored the boards today to see what was going to have been said, and I would only return if things did change A LOT.

[Kody]

Originally Posted by Ben Dawson

I'm afraid, in order for me to change my mind, then the people running this place would have to stop being arrogant, bullying bastards. I don't care if I get banned for saying that, because Danny has become just like Hitler, and all who are following what he says whole-heartedly are just plain and simply his Nazi's.
Or, in other terms, Danny is Davros, and RV is Nyder, and all the others are just the other Kaleds, who can't decide who's side they're on.
It seems bloody unlikely there will be change, I will NOT say what's needed to change, because just the fact that I'd need to means that the people on here HONESTLY don't see anything wrong with their actions, and I'm afraid that that is just extremely disheartening.
Sorry.

Mind explaining where all this is coming from? Danny unlocked a thread twice, then removed Chris's Mod powers when he went against Danny's wishes. This isn't an uncommon thing to do.

Now you're comparing him to Hitler and all sorts of wild things. This sounds like an angry, pointless rant.

Mind backing this up with some solid reasoning? Everyone seems to have already forgot James P in favor or sniping Danny and RV. Did you go back and read his intro thread? Did you go back and read the posts we were citing?

I'm very surprised at both you and Chris, Ben. You pop up after being silent for awhile and having taking part in the James jokes, acting extremly holier than thou and talking down to the members of this board. And I have still not seen suggestions about what you'd like to change to make this a better place.

[Ben Dawson]

I never took part in the "James" jokes, as you call them.

[Chris Britton]

Originally Posted by Kody

Mind explaining where all this is coming from? Danny unlocked a thread twice, then removed Chris's Mod powers when he went against Danny's wishes. This isn't an uncommon thing to do.

Now you're comparing him to Hitler and all sorts of wild things. This sounds like an angry, pointless rant.

Mind backing this up with some solid reasoning? Everyone seems to have already forgot James P in favor or sniping Danny and RV. Did you go back and read his intro thread? Did you go back and read the posts we were citing?

I'm very surprised at both you and Chris, Ben. You pop up after being silent for awhile and having taking part in the James jokes, acting extremly holier than thou and talking down to the members of this board. And I have still not seen suggestions about what you'd like to change to make this a better place.

Kody, I would quite happyily tell you the things i want changed, but at the end of the day Danny does not care and I seriously doubt he or anyone would listen, the only interest he showed was when he punished me for defending a member, then acted all paranoid by calling it a betrayal. Would there be any point listing proposed changes?

[Ross Hendrie]

Originally Posted by Kody

Going against the wishes of an administrator of a website, of any place, is bad etiquette and shows a lack of respect. You wouldn't do it in real life to your boss, now would you?

Uh yeah, I do it all the time. You just need to be sure that whatever you're doing turns out either better or just as well as the way he wanted you to do it.

[Kody]

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

Kody, I would quite happyily tell you the things i want changed, but at the end of the day Danny does not care and I seriously doubt he or anyone would listen, the only interest he showed was when he punished me for defending a member, then acted all paranoid by calling it a betrayal. Would there be any point listing proposed changes?

Thank you for finally addressing it at least.

I think Danny does care, though and would listen. He's not punishing you for defending a member, but for re-opening a thread he had closed. This is akin to doing something your boss just told you not to to.

Anyway. You seem like a very smart and intelligent guy from the time I've known you on these boards and it honestly seems like your a bit wound up on emotions. I would be in your case as well. You may just want to take a healthy step back, chill out, then talk to Danny privately. There's no use in this thread, at this point. Talking to someone one on one can make a big difference.

[Kody]

Originally Posted by Ross Hendrie

Uh yeah, I do it all the time. You just need to be sure that whatever you're doing turns out either better or just as well as the way he wanted you to do it.

Well, point.

But when it goes badly, not so good.

[Kody]

Originally Posted by Ben Dawson

I never took part in the "James" jokes, as you call them.

Then I heartily apologize, I thought you had. My other point still stands though, please tell us what you would like to see done.

Also, please refrain from calling people Hitler and all sorts of other comparisons. C'mon, Danny and RV aren't name calling from what I've seen.

I still insist people are way to wound up about this right now. I've been in my fair share of 'net arguments', or just arguments between people in general. I've even worked as a counselor before. In situations like this it's usually the best course for people to chill out, then talk with each other one on one.

[Chris Britton]

Originally Posted by Kody

Thank you for finally addressing it at least.

I think Danny does care, though and would listen. He's not punishing you for defending a member, but for re-opening a thread he had closed. This is akin to doing something your boss just told you not to to.

Anyway. You seem like a very smart and intelligent guy from the time I've known you on these boards and it honestly seems like your a bit wound up on emotions. I would be in your case as well. You may just want to take a healthy step back, chill out, then talk to Danny privately. There's no use in this thread, at this point. Talking to someone one on one can make a big difference.

It's not you I am annoyed at Kody, you have conducted yourself very well during all of this and if it seemed like I was taking it out on you I do apologize. I could talk to Danny one on one, but so far i have the distinct impression he does not care, he considered what I did a betrayal, and if thats the case i probably did betray him, because it was the right thing to do. He was quite happy to let picking on a member continue, and take part in it himself, I don't trust him and I have no faith in his management of the forums. The fact he thinks himself to be perfect, beyond criticism and that whatever he does is right makes this place sound like a dictatorship. I say again that under no circumstance should we have to resort to bullying because someone won't listen, we can be better then that, there is another better way. It's true James did not listen, but then we all began to act like kids and began to take everything out on him, it speaks volumes for us. I've admitted my shame and I stand by my decisions, I am sorry for attacking James, I wanted to try and do things properly, I don't regret re locking that topic, because it was bullying someone, if Daryl had done it Danny would have instantly shut it. I stand by decision to leave unless things will change, but i won't say what until I know he is prepared to listen and take into consideration whats happened, the way something should be done.

[Jamie Minty]

Originally Posted by Kody

I still insist people are way to wound up about this right now. I've been in my fair share of 'net arguments', or just arguments between people in general. I've even worked as a counselor before. In situations like this it's usually the best course for people to chill out, then talk with each other one on one.

I completely agree. You should have a chat with Danny where you are all free to say what you think without reprocutions as long as it isn't offensive.

That way you could discuss what you want changed without and how you may do it without upsetting Danny and him giving you a straight ban or something like that, and end up not being able to discuss it properly.

[Kody]

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

It's not you I am annoyed at Kody, you have conducted yourself very well during all of this and if it seemed like I was taking it out on you I do apologize.

Thank you. No apology needed, regarding me anyways.

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

I could talk to Danny one on one, but so far i have the distinct impression he does not care, he considered what I did a betrayal, and if thats the case i probably did betray him, because it was the right thing to do.

This is just your, as you say 'distinct impression'. Have you approached him via a private message? Have you tried to contact him on Google talk or one of his other IM's?

You can think anything you'd like, but until you speak to him one on one, it's speculation. (This is just fact in my eyes, not an attempt to speak down to you in any manner at all.)

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

He was quite happy to let picking on a member continue, and take part in it himself, I don't trust him and I have no faith in his management of the forums. The fact he thinks himself to be perfect, beyond criticism and that whatever he does is right makes this place sound like a dictatorship. I say again that under no circumstance should we have to resort to bullying because someone won't listen, we can be better then that, there is another better way. It's true James did not listen, but then we all began to act like kids and began to take everything out on him, it speaks volumes for us. I've admitted my shame and I stand by my decisions, I am sorry for attacking James, I wanted to try and do things properly, I don't regret re locking that topic, because it was bullying someone, if Daryl had done it Danny would have instantly shut it. I stand by decision to leave unless things will change, but i won't say what until I know he is prepared to listen and take into consideration whats happened, the way something should be done.

You keep mentioning 'Daryl'.. maybe it's just me, but I honestly don't know who that is. Must have been way before my time here. Is there a point you keep mentioning him or is it to stir up old things?

Do you want all of us to admit our 'shame' and openly apologize? Will this magically fix your issues with what happened to James? Many of us have already pointed, for one, back to his intro thread to show the effort that was put into welcoming him.

Oh, re-quoting something..

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

The fact he thinks himself to be perfect, beyond criticism and that whatever he does is right makes this place sound like a dictatorship.

Did Danny ever say that? From all I know of him, he's perfectly open to criticism. But when it comes to the website, what he was trying to stress is that he owns it, runs it and dislikes people going against something he said without even consulting him. I know it's a tricky subject to word. Danny is reacting to a breach in trust / respect.

Ayia.. at this point, I'm really not sure what else to say. Good luck and happiness to you Chris, if you do end up leaving, but I really would like to see everyone stay.

[Danny Stewart]

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

Kody, I would quite happyily tell you the things i want changed, but at the end of the day Danny does not care and I seriously doubt he or anyone would listen, the only interest he showed was when he punished me for defending a member, then acted all paranoid by calling it a betrayal. Would there be any point listing proposed changes?

Absolutely there would be a point, because I absolutely care. You've known me for years, Chris, and I find it not only hurtful but kind of offensive to assume you think I'm an unfeeling jerk who doesn't care about others. That's simply not the case, and I would expect you to know that better than most.

Originally Posted by Kody

I think Danny does care, though and would listen. He's not punishing you for defending a member, but for re-opening a thread he had closed. This is akin to doing something your boss just told you not to to.

Absolutely spot-on.

Originally Posted by Kody

I still insist people are way to wound up about this right now. I've been in my fair share of 'net arguments', or just arguments between people in general. I've even worked as a counselor before. In situations like this it's usually the best course for people to chill out, then talk with each other one on one.

Entirely agreed here. I think the best thing would be for the people involved to step back and chill out, as Kody says. Then return and talk sensibly when your judgment is not clouded by such harsh negative emotions.

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

I could talk to Danny one on one, but so far i have the distinct impression he does not care, he considered what I did a betrayal, and if thats the case i probably did betray him, because it was the right thing to do.

I'm sorry, but that's simply not how things work. I picked you to serve as a staff member here because I trusted you. What you did blatantly violated that trust. Think about that for a moment. I don't care what you think is right or wrong; there is a chain of command here, and if you have a problem with my actions or behavior, you bring it to me directly. You never ever go behind my back and implement something without having me on board. That's not only a betrayal, but as Kody says, is disrespectful.

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

He was quite happy to let picking on a member continue, and take part in it himself, I don't trust him and I have no faith in his management of the forums. The fact he thinks himself to be perfect, beyond criticism and that whatever he does is right makes this place sound like a dictatorship.

Just because I have a sense of humor and a desire to enjoy myself on my own web site does not mean I have no management abilities. If that were the case, I should think you would find yourself on a different web site after four years here. I am certainly far from perfect and very easy to criticize, and I make no claims to the contrary (and never have). Although I do have to point out that this most certainly is a dictatorship. There's nothing wrong with a dictatorship by definition -- it just means one person has total power, and on my web site, people have to play by my rules. That's not unreasonable. It's my name dot com for crying out loud.

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

I say again that under no circumstance should we have to resort to bullying because someone won't listen, we can be better then that, there is another better way.

Of course there is, but this is the internet. It can be fun sometimes. There are people that just don't fit in, and if that's the case, then we can poke fun at them if we want to. Like RV said, it's not our job to change to suit every member who walks through the front door, and it's not our decision who decides to spend their time here and why. I once had a bad experience on another forum, where one of my Doctor Who themes was posted without credit. I registered an account and claimed ownership of the theme, and I was berated and insulted and called a liar for trying to take credit for what was mine. So you know what I did? Rather than pushing the issue further, I left that site and never returned. It wasn't hard, either. I was bullied, so I walked away immediately. If this is really that much of a problem for James P. or anyone else, then they would (or at the very least should) do exactly the same thing.

Originally Posted by Chris Britton

I stand by decision to leave unless things will change, but i won't say what until I know he is prepared to listen and take into consideration whats happened, the way something should be done.

I'm prepared to listen to everything you have to say. I readily admit that I am not perfect and neither are these forums, but I still believe that you are all overreacting to something that you shouldn't be. Do what Kody says and leave for a few days if you think it would help. Cool down. We'll be here when you get back.