Scene from a short play I'm writing.

[Ross Hendrie]

Damn that last seen really depressed me. There's so much of that in RL thesedays.

[Ronnie Rowlands]

sadly, yes

[Dalek104]

Excellent update, Ronn! Very entertaining!

[Jez]

Good stuff.

[Ben Dawson]

This is just fantastic, you should be a writer as well, there are loads of actors who write too.

[Jez]

Noel Clarke = one.

[Ronnie Rowlands]

Sylvester Stallone=2

[Ronnie Rowlands]

This is the final scene in the play, the performance is next week. At some point, I will try to post the other scenes on here
and put them in order, enjoy!
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Final scene- (The living room. The lights are dim. Ian is slouched in his chair, looking perfectly cool, like he is waiting. He looks at his watch and sighs. At this point, he hears the front door; he turns the TV off and stands up. Abby tries to walk past him. He doesn’t let her through.)

Ian: Where have you been?

Abby: Oh my god! Get out of the way!

Ian: Tell me where you’ve been!

Abby: Out!

Ian: For God’s sake, I know you’ve been out! Where?

Abby: With Sara obviously!

Ian: Don’t lie to me you little cow! I’ve been to see your teacher. He’s told me everything. I know what you’ve been doing! (There is a knock on the door, Ian doesn’t respond) Do you know what you’ve done to your Mum? Do you? Do you know how upset she’s been?

Abby: I don’t care!

Ian: NO! YOU DON’T CARE DO YOU! YOU ONLY THINK ABOUT YOURSELF! IT’S PUTTING A STRAIN ON OUR RELAIONSHIP AND IT STOPS NOW! (There is another, harder knock on the door) Do you know where your Mum is now? Do you? She’s gone off to a hotel! She couldn’t deal with staying here so she’s taken MY money, and gone to a hotel! (The knocking soon turns to a loud hammering) Why the hell do you do it?

Abby: MOVE NOW! (She tries to push past him)

Ian: NO! (Ian grabs Abby by the throat and starts choking her, as this happens, the door is kicked open, and Colin Drip bursts in, he suddenly stops and looks at Abby, then looks at Ian. Ian lets go and Abby falls)

Drip: (pause) You…. What the hell have you done?

Ian: What’re you doing here?

Drip: I’ve just seen your daughter purchase some drugs in the woods, and I followed her home to warn you. But you!

Ian: Don’t lie!

Drip: YOU’RE the one who’s been abusing her all this time!

Ian: IT’S NOT LIKE THAT!

Drip: Oh I walk in and you’re choking her for fun? (Drip walks over to Abby to help her up, Ian grabs Drip, Abby crawls away to her room, and Ian has Drip by his jacket)

Drip: Let go of me you violent bully!

Ian: YOU GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!

Drip: NO! (Drip grabs Ian by his neck and tries to wrestle him to the ground, they scuffle, and Drip punches Ian. Ian staggers backwards, Drip tries to get to Abby’s room, but Ian grabs hold of Drip. Drip tries to get Ian into a half-nelson, but Ian elbows Drip in the ribs. Drip doubles over, and Ian hits Drip in the back of the head. Drip falls flat on his face. Ian takes hold of Drip’s tie and starts to choke him, at this point, Sara enters)

Sara: I’ve got to... OH MY GOD GET OFF HIM! (Sara runs over to Ian and starts pulling his hair, Ian loose his grip. Drip pulls himself up and punches Ian again. Ian falls into his chair)

Drip: Sara, get yourself out of here!

Sara: Where’s Abby!?

Drip: She’s (he turns round, and realises Abby is not there) Oh my god! Try her room!

Sara: Okay! (Ian grabs hold of Sara, she screams, Drip bashes Ian over the head over the head with a phone, Ian falls to the floor, unconscious, Sara runs around Ian, pushing Drip out of the way, Drip falls over a table and hits his head, he also lies on the floor, motionless. Sara manages to get to Abby’s room, she enters. Abby is standing up, staring at Sara) … Abby? (Abby falls to the floor) ABBY! (Sara kneels down next to Abby crying. The lights go down, and come up again to an empty stage, with Drip stood in the middle of it)

Drip: I got it completely wrong then. I honestly thought all along that Abby was just a lazy girl with attitude. Who would have thought that she’d been maliciously thrown into turmoil by her violent boyfriend. I’d seen attitude problems before, having taught at the school for 34 years. I thought I knew, and I was wrong.

Well, Abby’s mother and Ian split up, and Ian went to prison for 2 years. Violent sod. I’d have given him life. Abby’s mum who’s name I never caught, now lives alone, without a child and without a man. And Dave? Dave? He’s still walking the streets, bolder than ever, laughing his arse off! He couldn’t give a damn. Another monstrous lump on the side of society, just left there to make the place untidy. Just shows that no matter what, there will always be some problems, but the real thing is this. Don’t just overlook these problems. There is a root to everything, and in this case, it was a violent boyfriend and an unsympathetic stepfather. (Drip looks at his watch) well I must get off now, time for the funeral. (he walks towards the door) And I hear there’s going to be free food, oh joy. (lights down.)

[Dalek104]

What a tragic ending. This is incredible, Ronn! I'd love to read the rest of the scenes.
And good luck with the performance next week!

[Danny Stewart]

You have a pretty dark play here, Ronn, but it's well written for the most part. You've done an excellent job. I hope you'll post the whole thing up here when you're done.

[Ben Dawson]

oh my god, that makes you stop and think, this is brilliantly writen. But why exactly did Abby die? I guess we'll all find out soon enough, still, such a tragic ending and, well, just a big well done to you.

[Jez]

Good stuff, well written and thought through.

[Ronnie Rowlands]

Originally Posted by Ben Dawson

oh my god, that makes you stop and think, this is brilliantly writen. But why exactly did Abby die? I guess we'll all find out soon enough, still, such a tragic ending and, well, just a big well done to you.

Oh, Abby died because in the scene before, her boyfriend dave (me) have her some drugs to get rid of the baby. I haven't posted that scene yet. It does have the best line in the show though

"Dealer: Here you go dude (hands him the illegal looking pills)
Dave: Thanks man
Dealer: Remember dude, only take 2 a day, between meals."

Anyway, that final scene is not going to be used, because the other cast members and and the teacher thought that Drip entering the house and the big fight scene are unnecessary. Pah I'll have to go back and rewrite it

[Jez]

Fight scenes are rarely unnecessary. Our "on-the-rocks" style of drama was famous throughout the school for our excessively rehearsed fighting and war scenes.

We had about four World War 3s in our day, with a lot of muggings and brawls in between. Hell, I killed four people including my mate because he got blood on my red car (two chairs). Fighting scenes are not unnecessary.

And who could forget our "prog drama" style. The Three Little Pigs? Alien invasions? Evil bald dudes? AND Steve Irwin? In one production? With the guy who did the voice over to TA narrating?....Awesome.

[Ben Dawson]

Originally Posted by Ronnie Rowlands

Oh, Abby died because in the scene before, her boyfriend dave (me) have her some drugs to get rid of the baby. I haven't posted that scene yet. It does have the best line in the show though

"Dealer: Here you go dude (hands him the illegal looking pills)
Dave: Thanks man
Dealer: Remember dude, only take 2 a day, between meals."

So she OD'd.

Originally Posted by Ronnie Rowlands

Anyway, that final scene is not going to be used, because the other cast members and and the teacher thought that Drip entering the house and the big fight scene are unnecessary. Pah I'll have to go back and rewrite it

That's pretty crap, I don't see why it's unnecessary.

[Ronnie Rowlands]

She didn't purposely OD. She thought she was getting rid of the baby, but it backfired a bit.

[Ben Dawson]

Oh yeah, I realized that, that's what makes it so sad.